What Was She Missing?
Okay y’all, I was in the dental office waiting for my daughters appointment to be over, when I found myself glued to the TV. First of all, I want to say, I don’t watch television very often, but somehow this caught my attention. There was a talk show on, telling the story of a woman who had three grown children, several grandchildren and a couple of great grandchildren. This woman helped raise and take care of all of these family members at one time or another. She was always selflessly giving of herself over the years. I was intrigued at all she had done and accomplished during her life. She seemed intelligent, loving, generous, kind and generally happy. But there was something missing. What was it?
They did a makeover on her and when she came out onto the stage, she was dancing and singing! She was overjoyed! Then, they showed her a mirror! She started to cry. How beautiful and grateful she was! It was like she was REALLY looking at herself for the first time in years!
This impressed me so much because of how much she gave of herself over the years and unfortunately somewhat lost herself. She stopped taking care of herself and focused so much on all of the people she loved. It is so noble to help take care of others, but we need to remember to take care of ourselves also! It isn’t selfish to take care of yourself. It is actually showing even more love to those around you! When you spend time to take care of yourself, you are nourishing your mind, body and soul.
I ask you again, what was she missing? She was missing the woman she had been with her whole life, but hadn’t seen in years…herself.
“Something’s Just Not Right.”
The Story of My Autistic Son
I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy back in 1994. He smiled, crawled and progressed like most children do. So when he turned three years old, it was time for him to go to pre-school. I was surprised when the teacher came up to me and said, “There’s something not quite right with Jacob. I can’t put my finger on it.” What in the world was she talking about? He was healthy, learning some new words, and played nicely with others. He was a calm child and never showed aggression. I thought because the teacher was so young, maybe she was just inexperienced. So time went on for a little while. I took him to his doctor time and time again and was always told and he was fine and healthy.
The next year he was with the same pre-school teacher and again, she told me she thought Jacob needed tested. Okay, let’s put this to rest and test him, I thought. Again, there were some things we needed to help him with, but he’s only four years old! So this is how our life went for some time. Some “experts” said he was fine, some said there is something but didn’t feel comfortable making a diagnosis until he was older.
We pressed forward. Each year a new teacher would comment, each year we would evaluate him. When he turned seven, the professionals were finally ready to start taking a more serious approach. Even then, he was diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Asperger’s Syndrome, Attention Deficit Disorder and even food allergies. We were trying everything to figure out what was going on. It was frustrating and exhausting. We felt like there was little we could do for him.
Finally, by the time he was in high school I found a professional who specialized in Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). He said my son had a high functioning form of Autism. He then looked at me and apologized for all the previous experts, but explained that Autism is very difficult to diagnose and that is why Jacob had a variety of diagnoses. I felt relieved to know what was going on with my son, yet unsure about what I could do for him. This was new territory for us and I didn’t know how to proceed. Of course, the story of my son is much longer, but if you feel frustrated about similar circumstances I wanted to share some resources with you.
So what is Autism Spectrum Disorder? (more…)
Seven Roadblocks That Keep You
From Accomplishing Goals
So you want to set some goals! That’s fantastic! But you’re feeling apprehensive or a lot is going through your mind about why you should or shouldn’t do this or that.
Start by asking yourself some tough questions. “What could keep you from accomplishing your goal?” If you’ve already tried a goal and didn’t succeed, you may ask, “What held me back from my goal?” It is imperative that you become aware of what’s keeping you from accomplishing your goals so you can crush those obstacles!
Here are seven roadblocks that may be standing in your way:
What is making you fearful? Is it going outside your comfort zone into the great unknown? Are you afraid you’ll fail? No matter what the cause, know that you’re not alone. Everyone has fears. It is hard to make the initial step over that wall of fear especially if you think you’re going to fail.
I don’t like the word failure because there is shame attached to it. Each time I’ve failed at something, I’ve also learned some very valuable insight! So failure, really isn’t failure, it is a learning experience. They only way it is true failure is if you didn’t learn something from it. If you’re passionate about your goal, don’t give up on it or yourself!
Not having a plan or being unclear on the goal
Okay, you have a goal in mind, super! Now it’s time to get clear on the goal and make a plan for it. If you don’t you will end up regretting it because you’ll lose the emotional strength to carry through to the end result. Why? Because the steps you’re taking and your end result aren’t clear. It’s like walking down a path, not knowing where it leads. No matter how much strength you have at the beginning, you will eventually become exhausted with no end in sight!
You can use the SMART goal acronym for a start:
- S = specific • M = measurable • A = achievable • R = realistic • T = timely
You should use a method like the one above to create your plan for the goal you’re wanting to achieve. This will help you to clarify the goal you have.
Listening to negative talk from others or yourself
Negative talk from others or even from yourself has been proven to increase stress levels and lead to depression. The five people you interact with the most, have the greatest influence on you. If there are negative influences around you, do what you can to change the company you keep. Who wants to be told they aren’t good enough to accomplish something?
If you’re speaking to yourself negatively, it will only lead to discouragement, lack of commitment, lack of confidence, procrastination and making excuses why not to move forward with a goal. Would you speak to your closest loved ones the way you speak to yourself? Be kind to yourself! Be your own best friend and not your worst enemy!
I don’t know…should I do it, should I not do it? Are you being wishy washy? If you are passionate about a goal and I mean REALLY passionate, why the heck are you being wishy washy? The only way favorable results happen is by being committed! I know it can be difficult to be committed to something, but if you are, don’t waver from it! You can use your commitment to your favor! Commitment builds momentum, keeps you optimistic and eventually leads you to the bliss of success!
Working on too many goals at once
I think I heard someone say, Prioritize! Yep, that’s the word! We all have many goals, even sometimes unknowingly. What you must do is prioritize your goals. If you don’t you’ll be lead to a ton of frustration and procrastination. You can’t accomplish a huge goal until some smaller goals are met. For instance, if your ultimate goal is to own your own business, you have to set smaller goals in place, prioritize them and then accomplish those goals first. It’s really no different than taking baby steps. We all have to start somewhere!
Living in your comfort zone
People LOVE what’s comfortable. It’s all nice, soft and cozy in your comfort zone. I love my comfort zone also! When a person steps out of their Comfy Zone, it can be scary not knowing what to expect, how things will work and so on. I’m here to tell you the truth…if you step out of that zone, over time you create a new Comfort Zone with the things, people, memories and accomplishments that you truly do want in the zone with you! This is why it is so imperative that you discover what holds you back from taking a step out of you current comfort zone to the New and Improved Comfy Zone that you want!
Procrastination and Making excuses
I’ll do it tomorrow! We’ve all heard that or even said it! We cannot let procrastination take us away from the success we get when we complete a goal. Once we complete a goal, it builds motivation, inspiration and passion for the next goal! Procrastination steals your motivation, excitement and leaves you high and dry every time!
This brings me to Procrastination’s cousin, Making Excuses! She likes to tear down all hope and discourages you from even trying. The excuses people come up with vary of course, but when you ALLOW yourself to make excuses, it opens the door for negative self-talk and kicking yourself in the butt! You then feel guilty for not taking action! The best alternative…STOP MAKING EXCUSES!
Leave comments below and let me know how you’ve overcome these types of obstacles.